Solid Self-View

I must be honest, I love my outfit, but I don’t like these pictures. They don’t show the green of my pants as I’d like, or the navy of my top to it’s full potential, primarily due to the natural lighting and angle from which the photos were shot. Nonetheless, my friend behind the camera thought the pictures were coming out perfectly, otherwise she’d have said something.  This got me to thinking about how people view us and how we view ourselves.



“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”- Steve Jobs



Blazer: Investments- vintage (similar); Top:  Zara; Jeans:  Old Navy; Shoes:  Jean Michel Cazabat ℅ Shopbop


Sometimes my friends see positive things in me that I just don’t see in myself, which can be very uplifting. However, if I don’t manage to view myself as they see me in those moments, my self-view can remain negative. At the end of the day, I’ve come to realize that what really matters is what we think of ourselves, what things we say to ourselves, what we see in ourselves.  Don’t get drowned out by the thoughts, views, and opinions, others have of you, good or bad, and take time each day to ensure that how we view ourselves each day is solid, progressive, and positive my dears!

  • NaturalHairRules

    Love, love, love these pics and your inspirational words!

  • Nessbow

    That is such brilliant advice. Lately, I’ve been trying to make a bit of time each day to just sit quietly and check in with myself. I’ve had a major upheaval in my life over the past year, and I’ve had to totally re-think my path and my priorities. It’s been so refreshing to take the time out, clear away some mental clutter and start pushing away the other people’s opinions and advice. Under all that turmoil, my inner voice has started piping up, giving me hints about what I want and need and how to go about getting it. It’s so funny how we can forget to hear our own selves in amoung the hubbub of daily life.

  • imperfctconcept

    Really great post Rocquelle. We dont see ourselves as our friends see us. I know my friends probably see me totally different than I see myself and I am fine with that. Long as a I have a positive view of who I am and where I am going

  • Reiko (GFS)

    First to the outfit. I love the fit of the entire outfit. Although I can’t see the colors as you pointed out, I love everything about it. The shoes, the lips, the everything.
    Secondly, you have been quite introspective lately. I love self reflection posts. I love that it’s not always only about the outfit on your blog.
    I too struggle with this issue. But in a different kind of way. I’ve noticed in years, that the perception of who I am from other people doesn’t quite mesh with what I think of myself. I have a few friends that will say something jokiingly about my personality and I’m always on the other end of that conversation thinking “Is that what you really think of me!?!?” I didn’t know I came off that way!
    For example, I have a friend who says “Oh Reiko, we know you don’t like fun. NOt you.” Or even just yesterday. She called and asked what I was doing and I said “I’m just putting the baby down for a nap.” She replied, “oh. I just bet you love that.”
    I looked at the phone like “why did you say that?” I’ve never, ever complained about my child being awake too long or complained about motherhood in general. So why did you say that?
    I also had another friend accuse me of shady behavior in the past and I remember thinking “that’s who you think I am? I never was even remotely thinking about what you were accusing me of.”
    It really made me think two things. People who think they know me, may not necessarily always know my heart. And also, I realize that the way I may have been in the past doesn’t mean necessarily mean that that’s who I am now.
    So, the past two years I have really been trying to change what people think of me. Not in a direct way but I am more conscious of my words and actions so that they don’t misinterpret something I did/said.
    It’s weird though because at the same time, I still am getting to the point where I am not trying to convince people of who I am. Either you know or you don’t know.
    I think I ‘m trying to straddle the fence of I don’t care and let me show you who I really am. Sometimes I want to send text messages to my friends and ask “If I died, what will you miss about me?” and “If I die, what would you tell a friend about me?” I’m too scared to send those texts/ask those questions because I’m scared of the answer! I want to be a blessing to the people around me and I just wonder if the message ever comes across in my interactions/words with people.
    I say this all of the time…when I die, I do not want people going to my funeral doing two minute eulogies saying “Ooooooh that Reiko was a mess. She will go off on you. She didn’t like nothing. She was mean…” That’s not hot.
    This comment was way mf long.

  • I totally agree with you about what really matters is our own opinions and thoughts of ourself, but sometimes I think we may need to see things that our friends see if their views are constructive, and can help enhance us and shape us into a better person.

    I think the photos came out great btw. I love this look, and the pop of red lippie is everything!

  • I’ve struggled with this too. My friends see things in me that I still don’t see. I came to that realization when I saw how many people interact with me over certain social media accounts. Some of them started sending me little messages giving me this praise and I didn’t know how to receive it. I’m loving your inspirational post lately. I also love the fit of these pants, I’ve been looking for pants that are tighter around the ankle.

  • Ebony Jordan

    I am going through the same thing myself! That is why I love your blog so much! I trust speaks to my heart. Here I am 30 and I have finally gotten to the point where others view of me just does not matter. I use to think there was something wrong with me because I had a very limited number of friends. I even had one friend to tell me that maybe I was scared of people. It wasn’t until the other day that I realized that I am not scared of people, I just know who and what is important to me and can usually identify that in others. I use to think so many things that simply weren’t true about myself, but not anymore. I choose to speak those things as though they be and that concept has done wonders for me. So sorry to be so long but this post really struck home. You stay you and stay true. Those that can’t hang just aren’t for you.

  • nice inspirational post to wake up to. thanks. Your blazer is awesome too

  • Rhea

    Even if the colors haven’t come out right I think this look is very stylish. That blazer is stunning!