A couple of months ago I was at graduation (in case you didn’t know, I’m a high school college counselor) and One of my advisees said, “Miss Porch, I’m gonna miss you so much! What am I gonna do without you?”

I said, “you’re going to live and thrive.”

I’ve been thinking about this exchange over the last couple of months, as I feel like I’m in this constant back and forth of living and thriving.

Living—the everyday and not so everyday occurrences of adulthood…bills to pay, relationships to maintain, sickness, saying earthly farewells to loved ones, stress, uncertainty, the list can go on and on.

Thriving—the wins, big and small, worth celebrating, and moments that bring joy…paying off debt, starting a business, going in vacation, hitting a fitness goal, enjoying a nice meal or some Sunday Funday shenanigans, getting a promotion, the list could go on and on.

Sometimes I make the mistake of reading the comments under the post of news publications, and there’s always someone commenting “why are you covering this, when such and such is happening in the world,” as though it’s not possible for there to be horrible things happening in the world and good things happening in the world at the same time.

This is how we treat our own lives at times. When life is lifin’, we act like we aren’t also thriving. We have tunnel vision on the challenges, as though challenges and wins can’t coexist. I remember when our power was out for several days at the beginning of last month (in hot arse Houston 😳), due to hurricane Beryl. There were points where I was MISERABLE; I just laid with my eyes closed, hoping my body would cool off, lol. Life was lifin’! However, I remember thinking about how it could be worse…the fact was we opted to stay in our house, but we had money to get a hotel, even at the overcharging rate that hotels were doing. Thriving. Our food spoiled, but we had money to buy food or go out to eat. Thriving. We didn’t have power, but we managed to keep our devices charged (shout out to friends with power, lol), and even watched a lil’ tv on the iPad at night with our phone hotspots. Thriving. There were trees down around us on the streets, but none on our house. Thriving.

We so often overlook the ways in which we are thriving in life. It’s so easy to be consumed by life and its challenges, but everyday we are living and thriving! We are existing in two worlds of positives and negatives, and that’s ok.

If I can be honest, I’m really writing this post for me, because for the last 2.5 weeks, I’ve been zoomed in on how life has been kicking my butt post surgery (watch to learn why I had surgery), and I need to adjust my mindset. 

These have been the most, mental, emotional, and physically challenging weeks of my life, but even in all of the pain and discomfort, I understand that I am fortunate. I have insurance and money to pay my out-of-pocket-cost for my surgery. Thriving. I have a partner to help me do everything and people who care about me. Thriving. I have a job that is paying me while I recover. Thriving. Does it suck that I had fibroids in the first place? Yes. Is it unfortunate that I have some unwanted medical bills? Yes. Do I worry about how my body will recover and if it will recover the way I want? Yes. I am living and thriving!

I don’t know what you have going on in your life.  You may be in a season where all you see are the positive things happening, and I love that for you…yes to THRIVING in every way!  On the other hand, you may be experiencing setback after setback, and it feels like everything is going wrong.  If you’re the latter, this post is for me and YOU. 

My push for you is to take a moment to do two things:

  • Push yourself to think of at least 5 positive things in your life today (hint: you’re alive and reading this email), and then express gratitude for those things.

  • Ask yourself, how it could be worse, and then express gratitude that it is not.

Ok, I guess that’s actually four things for you to do, lol, but I hope you feel a little lighter after doing that.  This has really been helping me to see how though life has been challenging, I am still managing to thrive.  I hope it’ll do the same for you.

Now tell me!  How are you living and thriving today? Shoot me an email or share in the comments. :-)


Outfit Deets | Dress: vintage from Harold & Maude (similar and similar); Bag: Brandon Blackwood; Shoes: Schutz; Glasses: Zenni

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On Not Being Every Woman